Some parents give kids money for good grades on a report card. What does that teach kids to value? Maybe money—but certainly not learning.
That can be the problem with a lot of so-called “motivation” ideas. The more you offer rewards for learning, the more you teach your child to look for the rewards and not for the learning.
The truth is that all students are motivated from the inside. Your job is to help them recognize that motivation and put it to work.
So the next time your child brings you a good school project, don’t automatically offer praise. Instead, ask, “Are you proud of that?” When your child says yes, ask a second question: “How does it feel to have done your best?”
Your child will probably say that it feels pretty good. And that’s the information you can use again and again. Point out to her that she is capable of doing great work. She can achieve. And when she does, it feels pretty good.
Keep focusing on the good feeling that comes from doing a job well. The reward for doing well is the good feeling. That lasts a lot longer than the money for good grades!
Reprinted with permission from the April 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Bob Sullo, Activating the Desire to Learn, ISBN: 978-1-4166-0423-5 (Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development, 1-800-933-2723, www.ascd.org/books).