Motivating Your Child

Help your child stay motivated to learn after dealing with failure

To one child, a B grade is a sign of success. Another student might view a B as failure.

Whenever your child feels a sense of failure in school—because of a test score, grades or a teacher’s remarks—she can become less motivated to learn. Her interest in a subject might wane. She might become indifferent or feel hopeless.

To help your child remain motivated, it’s critical that you handle any failure or lack of success she has with care and skill.

Follow these eight steps:

1. Listen to your child when she’s disappointed in a grade, a mark on a paper or a comment by a teacher. Let her “blow off steam.”
2. Acknowledge your child’s feelings. Say, “I guess you are feeling pretty discouraged about that grade.”
3. Don’t agree with her when she gets down on herself—or the teacher.
4. Don’t blame your child for the situation.
5. Evaluate how serious the problem is. Your child might be overreacting to a perceived failure. Remind her that one poor grade on a quiz won’t necessarily result in a low grade in the subject.
6. Let your child know you’re on her side and ready to help. “Want to talk about it and try to figure out what we can do?”
7. Get your child to see the failure as an opportunity to learn. The poor grade may pinpoint areas where she can put forth more effort and see improvement.
8. Create a plan for improvement. What might your child do differently to resolve the problem? Consult the teacher if needed.

Reprinted with permission from the December 2006 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2006 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Raymond Wlodkowski and Judith Jaynes, Eager To Learn: Helping Children Become Motivated and Love Learning, ISBN: 1-55542-206-3 (Jossey-Bass, 1-800-956-7739, www.josseybass.com).