Avoid the common pitfalls of overprotective parents

When children are born, they really are helpless. And it’s the job of parents to protect them in every way they can.

But as kids grow up, the need to protect them changes. Children become more capable and able to do things for themselves. Parents who continue to protect them from everything may actually smother their child’s independence. That can lead to a child who isn’t able to make decisions by herself.

Overprotective parents send a message to their kids that they aren’t able to handle things by themselves. They also make it harder for kids to develop the perseverance that comes from getting knocked down and getting back up again.

To avoid a few of the common pitfalls of overprotective parents:

• Don’t ever do your child’s work for her. If she has forgotten about a big project, she will have to face the consequences.
• Don’t try to negotiate a better grade for your child. If you or your child are confused about a grade she receives, let your child talk to the teacher about it first.
• Don’t call the parent of a child your child is complaining about in school. Give your child a chance to work it out. If it is a serious problem, contact the school.

Try to trust your child. Give her chances to do things for herself. Will she make mistakes? Probably. But she’ll also develop responsibility to do things for herself.

Reprinted with permission from the February 2008 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2008 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: David Walsh, No: Why Kids–of All Ages–Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It, ISBN: 0-7432-8920-X (Free Press, 1-800-223-2336, www.simonsays.com).