Building Responsibility

Combat overindulgence to raise a respectful, responsible child

Many parents want to give their children everything. But is it too much?

You can overindulge your child by giving him too many material things. You can also provide too little structure or too few rules. Or you can over-nurture your child. You might take care of him too much.

Studies show that overindulged children grow up self-righteous and demanding. They often feel inadequate and unloved.

Such children will have problems at school. Because they lack personal responsibility and self-esteem, they have a hard time learning.

Overindulged children sulk or get angry when they don’t get their way—in the classroom and at recess.

To avoid overindulging:

• Have your child clear out clothes and toys by donating some to charity.
• Give your child only age-appropriate material things that are within the family budget. Don’t give in to pressure to buy him the latest video game or designer clothes.
• Establish rules and stick to them. Make the rules clear to your child. Explain the reasons for them. Don’t argue with him about them.
• Resist doing things for your child he can do for himself. He can fix his school lunch and keep his room clean. He can also plan his own homework schedule.
• Let your child deal with the results of bad decisions. For instance, if he misses the bus, insist that he get up earlier or put his clothes out the night before.

Reprinted with permission from the January 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Jean Illsley Clarke, How Much Is Enough? Everything You Need To Know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Responsible and Respectful Children, ISBN: 1-56924-437-5 (Marlowe & Company, Publishers West, 1-800-788-3123, www.marlowepub.com).