My fifth-grade daughter is very sensitive. This year, she’s having a really hard time in school. Other girls say mean things, and she just falls apart. I want to call their parents to tell them what’s going on. What can a parent do to help a child like this?
Fifth grade can be a hard time for all girls—and it’s especially hard for sensitive kids like your daughter. The reality is that kids can sometimes be mean. You can’t change the whole world to suit your child, (and no, you should not call the parents of the other kids). Instead, you’ll have to help her learn how to deal with situations that cause her stress.
Remember the old playground rhyme about “sticks and stones”? Well, it’s time to talk about the truth in those words. Help your daughter see that although her sensitivity is what makes her such a special person, she needs to develop a little “armor” to carry her through the world.
Help her think of mean words as “poison arrows.” When someone says something mean to her, she should imagine she is taking the arrow out of her arm and throwing it away.
Let her understand the reasons girls can be unkind. If they aren’t feeling good about themselves, they’re likely to take those feelings out on others.
Finally, help her learn how to reduce her own stress level. Taking a few deep breaths or counting backwards from 10 to zero can keep her calm in tough situations.
However, if you feel your daughter may be the victim of bullying, you need to address this immediately with her teacher.
—Kristen Amundson, The Parent Institute. Reprinted with permission from the January 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc.