On my fourth grade son’s report card, the teacher noted that he has problems working with other children. She said his social skills “need improvement.” He says that the kids pick on him. What can I do to help him improve his social skills?
Mastering academic skills is the most important part of school. But kids who don’t get along with others will face problems now and in the future.
Start by talking with your son again. Ask him why he thinks the teacher might have made this comment on his report card.
He’ll probably say the other kids pick on him. Ask him questions. “Tell me about a time when that happened.” Keep asking, “What did you do just before that? What did you do when it happened?”
Then ask his teacher if you can meet with her. It’s best if your son comes to this meeting (be sure that’s okay with the teacher). Ask her the same questions. When is it that your son seems not to get along with other children? What has he done? What do the other students do?
It’s important for your son to see that he plays a role in this. Does he have problems sharing? Does he boss other kids around?
Together, think of things he can do to change. Ask the teacher for her help as well. What can you do at home to help your son have better social skills at school?
Keep in mind that there is a big difference between a child who has trouble getting along with others and a child who is being bullied. If you feel your child is the victim of bullies in his class, address this immediately with his teacher.
—Kristen Amundson, The Parent Institute. Reprinted with permission from the November 2006 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2006 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc.