Be honest, brief when talking to your child about serious topics

Be honest, brief when talking to your child about serious topics

Your child has a problem with a teacher or he had a fight with a friend. And as a parent, you want to share your thoughts about these and other important subjects with your child.

But here’s something to remember. It’s not only what you say, but how you say it. If you want your child to listen to your advice, you need to know how to talk so he’ll listen. Here are five tips:

  1. Be honest. When your child was two, he thought you had all the answers. But today, you both know you can’t be an expert in everything. That’s okay—when you don’t know the answer, say so.
  2. Consider how much to share. If you are getting divorced, your child doesn’t need to know all of the details. He just needs to know that he’ll be safe. If you’re sick, talk about your treatment. Spare children, especially young children, troubling details.
  3. Be brief. Kids simply turn off a lecture. You’re more likely to get your point across if you can express your thoughts briefly.
  4. Respect your child’s views. You don’t have to agree with your child, but you are more likely to change his mind if you talk with him, not at him. So ask your child what he thinks about an issue.
  5. Don’t yell. If you feel yourself getting angry, take a break. Talking louder won’t help you persuade your child that you’re right.

Reprinted with permission from the November 2007 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2007 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Charles E. Schaefer and Theresa Foy DiGeronimo, How to Talk to Your Kids About Really Important Things, ISBN: 1-555-42611-5 (Jossey-Bass Publishers, a division of John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 1-800-956-7739, www.JosseyBass.com).